PURVEYOR OF FINE WORDS

January 31, 2002

January 31 2002

Materialism

I’ve figured out why people are materialistic: it’s because we’re all shallow snobs. Hahaha! No, just kidding. We’re materialistic because it’s much easier to define happiness in terms of tangible objects than in terms of emotional fulfillment.

Materialistic happiness is defined in quantitative terms, usually linked to monetary values. For example, I can say that I can die a happy man if I own a Hatteras 90, Porsche 911 Turbo, and a Gulfstream V-SP, all of which can be obtained within a matter of days provided that I have the $30 million available. This definition of happiness took me about 5 minutes to think up, and the path to obtaining these items takes just as long to concoct: win the lotto, become a rock star, or pull off an Enron. Because there exists a clear goal, I can now work towards that dream, akin to putting eternal happiness on layaway—“$2 million saved, $28 million left to go.”

However, the reality is that most people won’t ever make enough money to drop $30 million simply on modes of transportation, which is why we settle for getting “the next best thing.” We seem to spend an entire lifetime climbing the Great Status Ladder by constantly upgrading our possessions trying to reach the pinnacle of luxury in hopes that it will bring us happiness and respect, when in fact it’s much more like an addiction: when we develop a tolerance (i.e. get bored) to our current possessions, we seek to buy the next generation of stuff.

Even when people do strike it rich though, the mere prosect of being able to purchase “everything of their dreams” often sends them into depression—most recently exhibited by many dot-com millionaires suffering from sudden wealth syndrome.

So I guess the whole point of this is that I’m going to be less hell bent on getting new stuff. Maybe.

Do you feel lucky?

January 30, 2002

January 30 2002

In-n-out!

Ohmigod! There’s an In-n-out burger and a Krispy Kreme in Daly City, and it’s only 5 minutes from my place! It’s probably because it’s the year of the horse.

Do you feel lucky?

January 29, 2002

January 29 2002

Pseudo-what?

Do you find that regular dictionaries are too slow on the uptake? Pseudodictionary will fulfill your every loquacious need.

There is nothing more ironic these days than the Enron code of ethics.

Don’t have any real money to place a bid for Enron’s code of ethics? Just escape from the real world to Everquest, where serious online addicts have created an economy that has a GDP just shy of Russia.

Me sports fan. Me not understand youth hockey just game. Me too stupid to read about other stupid hockey dad. Me feel angry. Me want to avenge son’s penalty by punching other people. Me now feel like man.

Gluttony + capitalism + naked girls = Wing Bowl.

911 calls from idiots. Always good for a laugh. The funniest one, though, is about Joe, his car, a deer, a dog, and a phone booth.

Do you feel lucky?

January 26, 2002

January 26 2002

More books

Recently read books that I’d recommend: The Burden of Bad Ideas is blunt look at how public policy can have the best of intentions, but in reality fails in the most miserable way. If you’re a cynic, you’ll probably enjoy this book a little too much. White Teeth by Zadie Smith is a great whirlwind of cultures and eras all packaged into a very witty novel.

Do you feel lucky?

January 26 2002

Is that right?

I saw her at Borders on Powell and Post. A sullen goddess who personifies the essence of light—not the theoretical light-in-a-vacuum, straight line, free of all obstacles kind—but the earthly rendition of light that glides through the air, flitting from one reflective surface to another with little regard for refraction or diffusion, forming the glimmer on the glossy magazine page in front of my roaming eyes. She’s definitely the adventurous type; you can see it in her effervescent eyes, unable to be masked by the gloomy expression that’s draped on her face. Eyes that have seen the world from the 29,035 precarious steps of Mt. Everest, examined the bullhorns of the 2 bulls that never quite caught up with her in Pamplona, peered down into the eviscerated remains of the World Trade Center. Why wasn’t goddess-of-Borders carving down Kirkwood at this very moment? Who would let such perfect specimen of evolution be in a such a funk? Anyone could see her perfection, which appeared and disappeared beneath the warm fabric of her I-just-want-to-be-comfortable outfit: v-neck, curve, slack, curve, slack, curve, curve, slack, Adidas women’s Response Trail.

“The Grand Canyon’s really nice this time of year,” I say as I catch a glimpse of the National Geographic Adventure in her exquisite hands.

“I just got back!” She replies, with a laugh that could cheer up even the most despondent misanthrope. “My sister and I were there backpacking for a month. Wish I could go back…” She adds, and then trails off into a saddened stare at her shoes.

“What’s got you down?” I replied, but only in my hyperactive mind, because her cell phone rings and whatever bits of digital noise that enter her delicate ear command her to depart from my side—3.0×108 m/s to be precise.

Hopes dashed again.

Do you feel lucky?

January 25, 2002

January 25 2002

Weber

This picture about a boy and a turkey on Weber’s home page is really funny.

Do you feel lucky?

January 25 2002

Penelope

No, Penelope Cruz isn’t that hot.

One lonely comment

January 24, 2002

January 24 2002

Stupid Corvette

I was driving down 280, right before it joins with 19th Ave when I spied a cop behind me so I decided to take it easy and keep it at 65 in the middle lane. Two minutes later, the cop is still there cruising along at 65—most highway partol cars drive at about 75—so I was pretty sure that he was out to get somebody. At this time a very shiny new blue Corvette Z06 was in the left lane, inching his way past the cop and I say out loud (as if that guy could hear me), “I really wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The Corvette holds his position in the cop’s blind spot for another 30 seconds, and then decides to bring it up to 70 to pass both the cop and myself. What a dumbass. The cop merges into the left lane with about 2 inches between him and the Corvette and, probably with great satisfaction, turns on his lights. I laughed so hard, I think I might have spit on the windshield.

Do you feel lucky?

January 23, 2002

January 23 2002

What a tiff!

Yes, trying to find a solid approach in asking women out can be an amazing moral quandry.

Do you feel lucky?

January 22, 2002

January 22 2002

Nixie

Have you heard of Nixie tube clocks? I think they’re definitely very charismatic pieces of antique electronic components. Is there a kind reader who would like to buy one for me?

Do you feel lucky?

Reading

Viewing

Linking

  • Anytime is a good time for a well-cut movie trailer mashup: here's The Dark Knight version of the Toy Story 2 trailer. (via buzzfeed)

    (link)

  • One of the most popular events of the annual New Yorker Festival is Calvin Trillin's food-oriented walking tour of SoHo, Greenwich Village, Chinatown, and Little Italy. According to the New York Times, one of the tour's favorite destinations is Banh Mi Saigon Bakery, also one of my top lunch destinations.

    Standing outside, dipping his roll into peanut sauce, he said he liked to eat standing up. "If I couldn't eat in a four-star restaurant again, it would mean nothing to me," he said. "But if someone said I couldn't eat any more cilantro, I would be very upset."

    (link)

  • The Big Picture has a selection of photographs from Yann Arthus-Bertrand, who is the answer to the question "hey, who takes those amazing aerial photos of all these different places on earth?" Many more images are available on Arthus-Bertrand's web site and in his many books.

    Some of these photos are coming to NYC in May 2009 in an exhibition in Battery Park City.

    (link)

  • Remember the fun we had reading about this root beer tasting a few months back? The #1 root beer from that tasting, Sprecher (from Wisconsin), is now available on the root beer section of the menu at Ssam Bar. My Moscato d'Asti-addled brain forgot to get a bottle to go when I was there last, but I'll be back for you soon, Sprecher.

    (link)

  • We've seen personal annual reports, but now Christopher Doyle has devised a set of personal identity guidelines for himself.

    The image above is from a spread marked Full Colour Vertical_Private. The following 'key identity formats' are, of course, Full Color_Vertical, Full Colour Seated_Casual and Full Colour Seated _Formal.

    The incorrect uses are hilarious.

    (link)

  • David Friedman of the excellent Ironic Sans blog took some photos of a Kentucky denim factory that distresses jeans for high-end designers.

    I used to scoff at paying a premium for jeans that come with holes in them already. Then I saw just how much work goes into distressing jeans, and I realized that these people are artists. You can't just have any loose threads, you have to have the right loose threads. They can't just be faded. They have to be the right color. A lot of work goes into making these jeans look just right.

    (link)

  • A photographer talks about how he edits his photos and collects editing approaches from other photographers as well.

    You usually have a hunch, but the great thing about photography is that it's so unpredictable, so you never quite understand how and when a good photograph comes about. But when editing, I do contact sheets, then machine prints and then select from that.

    And when asked what makes one image stand out more than another, is it emotional or an intellectual reaction he answers: "It must be intuitive. If it were intellectual, I'd be able to explain what happens. That's why I'm a photographer. I express myself visually, not verbally.

    Two main themes emerge: 1) take some time off from your images in order to evaluate them more fairly, and 2) edit with an outside party, someone you trust to be tough but fair. (via conscientious)

    (link)

  • The New Yorker devotes the entire Talk of the Town section in their latest issue to their endorsement for President. As you might guess, Obama gets the endorsement and John McCain receives no quarter from the editors. The key part of the article concerns the candidates' possible appointments to the Supreme Court and their consequences. A more conservative court scares the shit out of me.

    (link)

  • A new study suggests that HIV jumped from apes to humans around the turn of the 20th century, which coincides with the development of colonial cities in sub-Saharan Africa.

    HIV was and remains a "relatively poorly transmitted" virus, he said, so the key to the success of the virus was possibly the development of cities such as Leopoldville in the early 1900s.

    The large numbers of people living in close proximity would have allowed more opportunity for new infections.

    "I think the picture that has emerged here, is that changes the human population experienced may have opened to the door to the spread of HIV," he said.

    (link)

  • Evan Roth has been putting metal plates with messages and symbols cut into them into his carry-on luggage when he goes through security at the airport.

    Here's Roth's idea, which he calls "TSA Communication" and tells me has already made it through three trial airport runs: Take a metal plate, stencil and cut out a message -- words or an image -- place the plate at the bottom of your carry-on bag, and watch what happens as the TSA employee operating the airport X-ray machine notices ... or doesn't notice.

    So far, he's used plates with outlines of the American flag, a "NOTHING TO SEE HERE" message, and something he calls The Exact Opposite Of A Box Cutter, a plate with a box cutter shape cut out of it.

    (link)

  • Several photo series of fashion models transforming into different outfits. It's amazing how different they can look with changes in makeup, hair, and clothes.

    (link)

Links provided by kottke.org.

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