PURVEYOR OF FINE WORDS

March 30 2002

Packaging 101

My ex-roommate (who was 26 at the time), had his mother fly out from the Midwest to help him pack. These were the results:

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March 28 2002

The bug

At long last, the first release of Mozilla is in sight after what seemed like an eternity of vaporware. There are just a few things that are keeping me from switching:

No Google Toolbar: This little utility has improved web browsing by a factor of 10. If you’re running IE and you don’t have it, you need to get it.

Dismal bookmark utility: It just plain sucks. If I wrote down all my bookmarks on a post-it note and stuck it to the side of my monitor, it would be just as usable.

Slow browser interface: I’m not sure why this is so, but interacting with the menus and windows of Mozilla make it seem like someone accidentally turned off the turbo button on my PC (anybody remember the turbo button on your 386?)

In spite of these minor complaints, the lightning-quick rendering engine, tabbed browsing, and pop-up control definitely put Mozilla as a big contender in the Windows browser space.

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March 28 2002

Sex?

In America, people often celebrate Easter by taking their children to fluffy bunny related events where dozens of small children and some over-zealous not-so-small adults go on hunt and devour missions, looking for chocolate candy scattered around a yard by over-zealous bunny-suited adults. Consequently (and in line with the other American tradition of consuming as much as possible), Easter has become one of the biggest candy selling periods—second only to Halloween.

In the Czech Republic, tradition calls for the men to find some females and whip them with willow sticks, douse them in perfume, or shove them into a cold shower (junior high style, I would imagine). A 22-year old journalist laments, “I hate it. I always get thrown into the bathtub.”

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March 27 2002

Thinking out of the box

Here’s a confirmation story about that elderly woman who was stuck in a newspaper vending machine because a Wal-Mart employee couldn’t be bothered to spare 50 cents.

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March 27 2002

Che-ez!

I bought this cool little digital camera that’s the size of a zippo lighter, the Che-ez! SPYZ.

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March 27 2002

Oh really…

A tech-support friend sent me this email she received:

Hello;
This may or may not be the right location, but please redirect. I own a
small computer company, and recently was the victim of a theft. (computer
hardware) My question is: I am seeking information in regards to tracking
down the stolen computer. It contains information that if accessed could
mean the end to my company. I did take all the precautions to protect the
info. However I really can’t afford the prospects. I am seeking info about
the feasabilty of tracking down the stolen computer. Considering the ID info
contained within, surley technology has progressed to the point where this
is possible. In case that it is not clear…..I am a desparate man. Any
assistance you can provide will be greatly appriecated. I do use some of
your products with some of my clients and your company has always provided
top quality support.

PS If I can trianglate and pin point a cell phone, I am praying this is
possible

This normally wouldn’t be considered too outrageous, but the guy owns the computer store! You’d think he’d be a little more knowledgeable.

Speaking of computer stores, I used to work at a small computer shop while I was in high school. I remember that when Windows 95 came out, we were expecting a flood a people to come in because Microsoft launched an ad campaign that was of titanic proportion. Well, what we ended up getting were a lot of confused people calling—the most memorable being a gentleman who called and wanted to know if we were selling Microwave 95.

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March 26 2002

En Espanol

Today I heard The Devil Came Down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniel’s Band sung in spanish. Trippy.

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March 24 2002

Cat fancy

Here’s a true achievement for the gadget lover: a cat door with face recognition that denies access to a cat if it has something in its mouth.

Kenny, a friend of a friend of a friend I met in Portland, rants about the ills of wearing 4 beepers at once.

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March 23 2002

Oops!

Oh, the tangled web we weave. It seems that during the period when the US supported the Taliban (yes, that was only a couple decades ago), our government decided to publish books that supported a Jihad against the former Soviet Union and issue them to Afghan children, in hopes that it would help spur more resistance against communism. A page from the math primer uses knives and ammo like Count Dracula uses blueberry muffins to count.

The primers, which were filled with talk of jihad and featured drawings of guns, bullets, soldiers and mines, have served since then as the Afghan school system’s core curriculum. Even the Taliban used the American-produced books, though the radical movement scratched out human faces in keeping with its strict fundamentalist code.

What makes the situation more complicated is some legal experts are saying that it violates a constitutional ban on using tax dollars to promote religion.

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March 23 2002

Worst site, ever.

How do you create a website that violates all usability and common sense guidelines, such that it makes you gasp upon looking at it? Well, here’s how.

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