PURVEYOR OF FINE WORDS

May 27 2002

Glurge

If, for some reason, you like forwarding those sappy emails that make their rounds on the internet every once in a while—please stop. They’re stupid. Instead, just tell your friends to go to Glurge.com for a whole library full of pseudo-inspirational reading.

You might also be interested in obtaining this fine pink Hello Kitty laptop that’s really kawaii!

Do you feel lucky?

May 27 2002

RTFM

I think I’m one of the few minority that still reads product manuals. For me, it’s about knowing everything a product is capable of doing. Apparently for others, the object is to find out everything that the product was not meant to do (as the Washington Post reports).

But KitchenAid may not miss the woman — a company spokesman vows this happened — who called to ask which was the best spin cycle in her clothes washer for drying her lettuce. Then she wanted to know how to get the chlorophyll off the washer drum because it was staining her clothes green.

Did you know “Britney Spears” is an anagram for “presbyterians”? Find out yourself at Andy’s Anagram Solver!

Do you feel lucky?

May 19 2002

Getting Old

I’m only 23, and signs of senility already are surfacing in my life. I was waiting in the drive-thru at In-N-Out for a good 15 minutes before I even reached the speaker to give my order. Having been inching up every few minutes, I then continued inching past the speaker without stopping and giving my order. I only realized that I missed it when I heard the cashier talking over the speaker 10 feet behind me. Luckily the car behind me wasn’t too close so I backed up and screamed at the speaker from a more reasonable distance of 5 feet. Had I been unable to back up closer to the speaker, I think I would have been too embarrassed to get out of the car, stand next to the speaker, and give my order.

Do you feel lucky?

May 16 2002

Google for Moz

Andy was nice enough to alert me to a Google toolbar project for Mozilla, after reading my reservations about Mozilla.

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May 16 2002

The maestro

My estranged friend Jeff, who seems to ebb in and out of human contact, was kind enough to send me a thoughtfully highfalutined response to my recent change of email announcement.

…Its obvious that they have a complete and total
disregard for who you are. For that reason alone, I think that they will go
out of business in six months. Anyone who fails to give you the respect you
think you deserve, well, we know that they must lack the necessary amount of
gray matter to run a business (or lift a fork for that matter)….

…So good luck on your new quest (not that you need it). I’m sure that
success will come as easily to you as failure comes to those around you….

Well done Jeff. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go rescue a small village in the Congo from a fire ant invasion.

Do you feel lucky?

May 16 2002

Revival!

Overheard conversation today:

Girl 1: No, I don’t like Hugh Grant.

Girl 2: Ooohhh-maaah-gaawd! How can you not?

Girl 1: I think he’s a dork.

Girl 2: Oh.

The past month has been quite hectic (and consequently the only thing I can remember from today is an inane conversation about Hugh Grant), as I have started a new job with the government, am handling 2 independent web development projects, and have joined a new startup. All of a sudden, I have left myself with very little time to watch The Simpsons so I believe that a TiVo will find its way next to my TV soon. Some of you may already be saying, “Why don’t you already have one?”—to which I would reply, “Just lazy.”

Do you feel lucky?