PURVEYOR OF FINE WORDS

December 23 2007

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According to Google, I am the second-most popular “purveyor of [insert genre here]” in the world, bested only by the purveyor of the world’s finest teas, Upton Tea Import. Being second in this list is lamentable, but under the circumstances not a terrible position considering that I have a better rank than the leading purveyor of fine needlework and supplies, and the purveyor of EarthBalls and Giant Globes. Gloating aside, how the moniker “purveyor of” came into being merits some discussion. C.M. recently asked,

You use the line “purveyor of fine words.” Before commandeering this line, did you look into its etymology? For example, what is correct “fine purveyor of…” or “purveyor of fine…”? Oddly, there is not much online by way of a discussion. There are of course several instances of people using the phrases both ways. I did come across a book about the history of purveyance and it talked about “fine purveyors” as those who procured better cuts of meat or poultry, as opposed to the “coarse purveyors.” However, these days, everyone claims to be a “purveyor of fine something”. I just wonder if they are interchangeable or if one is more correct than the other. For obvious reasons, you seemed like a good person to ask, being a self-titled “purveyor of fine words” and all.

Well, I chose the tagline ‘purveyor of fine words’ as a response to the typical self-deprecating blog name that is so common these days — ones that mix and match words like ‘rambling’, ‘thoughts’, ‘random’, ‘drivel’, ‘brain farts’. I subscribe to one blog that is titled, “Continuing Intermittent Incoherency“, which sounds like the author picked up some kind of Mad-Lib for blog names for inspiration. “Randomised nonsense” and “The Solipsistic Sayings of a Random Infidel” also seem to have been derived from the same template.

Perhaps these titles are a byproduct of today’s disclaimer-ridden society, where consumers are too moronic to realize that a cup of coffee contains scalding hot liquid, or that a pack of peanuts “may contain nuts”, or that power tool enthusiasts should not “attempt to stop a chainsaw with [their] hand”. In the online world, this warning zealotry translates into prefacing statements with redundant acronyms like FWIW or IMHO, which authors use to ostensibly indemnify themselves against criticism. “IMHO, you’re nothing but a fucktard and the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass”, becomes a quaint jest I suppose. In order to buck this trend, I opted to go big instead and inflate myself to gourmet proportions, and thus I promoted myself to a purveyor of fine words.

In response to C.M.’s question, I don’t have any more insight into the etymology of the phrase, as mine merely parodies Dean & Deluca’s tag line of “Purveyors of Fine Foods and Kitchenware”. I would say that “purveyors of fine…” is much more prevalent than “fine purveyors…” insofar as it’s difficult to explain the difference between a “purveyor” and a “fine purveyor” (maybe the purveyor is very attractive?), whereas the difference between “food” and “fine food” immediately conjures up contrasting images of corn dogs and Iranian caviar.

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